Reason

Sanjay Sir was very excited today. After all Sudheer had promised to come home after a gap of almost an year. Last time he had come for his friend's marriage and because of his extremely busy schedule, Sanjay Sir could not even have a proper conversation with him. This time he won't let Sudheer go anywhere else.
"Come on! It is his birthday today. He ought to celebrate it with the one who gave him birth." he had thought.
Kanhu, half the age of Sanjay Sir, was given elaborate instructions regarding the decoration of the house and the dishes to be prepared.
As Sanjay Sir was in the washroom, his phone started ringing. He became extremely impatient as if it wasn't a call rather a rocket launch- once missed, won't come back. While hurriedly turning around he hit at the shower knob. The sudden force of water fell on his back, wetting him. Still, he came running out of the bathroom holding with a pinch the wet portion of the shirt pulled away from skin to avoid the drenched feeling. He picked up the phone.
"Hello Beta! Reached the airport?" he asked.
"Airport??" and after a confused pause, "Hello! Is that Sanjay Sir?" the caller said. 

Cataract had blinded him so much that he couldn't even see the caller's name and number but the voice wasn't Sudheer's. 

"Yes. Sanjay speaking. Who's that?" he replied increasing the bass.

"Hello Sir. It's such a blessing to hear your voice after so long. This is Manav. You remember? "

After a long halt of amnesia Sanjay Sir excitingly said, "Mannuuu... Is that youuu?". The bass was gone again.

"Yes Sir.  You remember my nickname? So sweet of you." Manav was overwhelmed.

While talking to Manav, for a moment Sanjay Sir almost forgot the original reason of his excitement, that of Sudheer's call. Manav was Sanjay Sir's student in graduation- a brilliant yet a naughty, menacing young man in his early 20s. And now he was a dynamic, serious and hard working man in his late 30s. He gave the sole credit of his changed personality to this master. 

Manav had just entered the college when he lost his parents in a construction site accident and got no compensation too. Left to choose between study and survival, he decided to leave the college and engage himself in search of a job. He thought that later he would rejoin on being able to earn enough to bear the fees and other expenses. He shared his thought with the colleagues and the news reached the teachers as well. 

That was the first day when he was called to Sanjay Sir's office. The summer had just entered the air, warming it like just melted ice cream.

"May I come in Sir." asked Manav with a bowed head gesture, standing at the glass door of Sir's office. 

Sir beckoned to him. Manav found it chilling cold inside, but Sir's heated lecture balanced the temperature, "How could you even think of leaving your study?"

While Manav was explaining, Sanjay Sir interrupted, "Money is the issue. Right? Okay then. All you have got is to just do your study and not worry about the expenses. I will bear everything."

Manav was surprised and overwhelmed by this gesture. After some more lectures, Sanjay Sir said, "You may go now." 

Manav humbly said, "Okay Sir." and got up to leave but Sanjay Sir called from behind, "Wait. Remember when somebody offers you something, there is always a reason behind it. Take that thing only after you find the reason justified and you feel you can do justice with the offer. I offered you help because you are a brilliant student and I can't see you collapse. I want you to be a successful man in future and be the motivation for many others." Then with a pause of completion he ordered, "Now you may go."

As Manav left the air conditioned cabin, he suddenly felt like almost mid summer, but the cool breeze of relaxation about the future subdued the heat. 

He continued his study, now with resources, more than what he could earlier afford. Books, notebooks, medicines, commution, electronic gadgets- Sanjay Sir made it all available to him at the first call itself. Not only this, he provided Manav with a monthly pocket money. But Sir had not imagined the result. Manav slowly began to stay aloof and take studies casually. He would bunk classes and think that it was all under his control. When Sanjay Sir came to know about it, he preferred checking the information to confronting Manav right away. He found that Manav had been swayed away by a group of bad guys and had started drinking, smoking and extravagance. He also had indulged himself in earning through illegal means for his extravagance.

One day while he was exhaling the smoke out of his ruining future at a cross road shop, Sanjay Sir happened to notice him. Manav too was taken aback. Sanjay Sir scrolled down the glass of his car and said, "4pm. At my office." and drove away.

Manav knew that he was in trouble, and was regretting his actions. When he went in Sir's office, that evening, he saw Sir pressing his thumb and index finger against his forehead.

"Sir" that was all Manav could utter with eyes fixed of floor.

Sanjay Sir got up from his place and walked towards him. With each of his step, Manav's adrenalin rush intensified. He could feel the heat radiating from his angry teacher. Sanjay Sir stood just before him and then with all his energy gave him a tight, solid, angry slap. It echoed for a while. Manav could barely stand and slowly managed to balance himself and look at Sanjay Sir. It was then that he noticed his red, fiery and teary eyes. Sanjay Sir said, "There is a reason behind this too. I am feeding you like my son, so, I have full right to thrash you to prevent you from taking a wrong path. What is your responsibility now? Think about it. You may go."

As he came out, he was surprised to see the same gang of guys waiting to ostensibly sympathise with him.

One of them said, "I heard him saying that he can thrash him like he would his son. Who slaps such a grown up boy?"

The other added, "Slap like a son.... Huh.... Would he name his property to you like he would for his son? Huh" 

The first suddenly said, "Ok. Just leave it. Manav. You don't worry. We are with you. Let's go for a drink party. It will relieve your mood."

Manav replied in a tired tone, "Not feeling well. You guys carry on. I shall join later."

But there was no 'later', thankfully. 

With every passing day his regret was doubled up with the fear of not receiving aid from Sanjay Sir. On the last day of month, he received some money in his digital wallet. He couldn't take his eyes off the screen. The pocket money was hiked by Rs.2000. The transaction message read, "The extra money is to meet anything that you desire. It's upto you to make out of it, either a grave or a wing for your future. Online transfer doesn't mean we won't meet tomorrow, Mannu!! Bless you."

That message, that moment and that emotion changed Mannu's life. He realised how beautifully Sir forgave him but transformed him too.

Today, as Manav stood at the door of Sir's house after a gap of almost a decade and a half, this college memory flashed before his eyes. Sanjay Sir, who had humbly denied his birthday invitation over call this morning, later called back and asked him to come in the evening, showing willingness to join in.

"Where?" Sir asked as they rode past the classic western lamposts glowing mustard yellow, in the dimming sunlight.

"Hotel Vyom." Manav replied.

"Who else is coming." Next question.

"Sir! I saved this birthday just for a college reunion. So, there's Madhu ma'am, Lalta Sir, Violet Ma'am, Prasoon Sir and then there are Ravi, Kavya, Sania, Sudheer, Praveen..."

"Wait. Who?" Sanjay Sir jerkingly asked.

"Praveen." 

"Na naa... Before Praveen." Sir was impatient.

"Sudheer... That Pratapgarh one, Sir!! The boy who had sneakingly put his chits under your file, Sir!" Manav laughed as he explained.

"Oh! That Sudheer." Sir took a sigh of relief and began to get lost in the old days.

He remembered how once when Manav came to his office on his own birthday with a box of motichur laddoos and said while offering Sir, "Today is my birthday, Sir! Bless me." 

"Oh! Is it prasad?" Sir had replied, delicately taking a bite from shining orange laddoo.

"It now is. Thank you Sir." Manav had immediately replied emotionally touching Sir's feet. That was an overwhelming moment even for Sir, who then posted a photo of a cake on facebook that evening with a caption, "My sons' birthday" The position of apostrophe wasn't a typo.

They reached the hotel and Sanjay Sir was extremely happy to meet with old friends and students. If only he could see them all clearly, thanks to the cataract.

While they sat down at the table for dinner in the hotel, Sir realised that he forgot his wallet in Manav's car.

"But why did you take it out?" asked Prasoon Sir curiously.

"Oh! The habit of keeping it in back pocket is gone. Today it was hurting. So, I kept it on the dashboard. Nevermind. Manav will bring it." He replied. While Manav was out of sight, Sanjay Sir could somehow spot his friend Sudheer by the colour of his dress and shouted, "Sudheer!! Sudheer!!" He slowly started walking towards Sudheer shouting his name.

Suddenly he felt a hand abruptly gripping his hindarm and strongly whispering, "Why are you here? Dad!!" It was his son, shocked at him being there.

Sanjay Sir too was shocked, "You are here? You didn't even tell me?"

"Yes I intentionally didn't. But what was the use? You found it." He scoffed and continued, "and now you are here to spoil everything shouting my name unneccesarily." Sudheer's gesture was aggressive.

"Excuse me." Manav quickly got Sir's arm releaved and humbly asked him, "Is everything fine? Sir!"

Sudheer was more surprised at this.

Sanjay Sir verbally thrashed his son explaining the reason for him being there. The heated exchanges ended but the sourness couldn't end, more so because the episode had started just with the arrival of Sudheer in the noon from New York. Sudheer had rudely announced that he had his own plans of birthday and he will return late in the night.

In the next one month such rude exchanges became a norm and everytime they happened, Manav provided emotional refuge to Sanjay Sir. But the pain given by someone very close to heart cannot be healed by anyone else and thus the internal wounds kept on increasing until one day, when Sir collapsed. Sudheer immediately took him to hospital. After the ward boy quickly kept a pill under Sir's tongue, he felt relieved. He saw Sudheer run from one counter to the other like an insane kid. He had seen a different Sudheer today. He was quickly taken to the doctor's cabin, he underwent some tests and was admitted as soon as the reports arrived. Artery blockages. Several. No chance of revival normally. Rare chances of success of angioplasty too, but Sudheer wanted to do all possible efforts to get him freed from the strengthening grip of death.

An hour later, Manav came to see Sanjay Sir. Sitting down on the chair beside his bed, he said, "Sir! I know this is not the correct time to tell this to you, but I have no other choice."

Sanjay Sir looked at his face with an arch of question mark on his forehead.

Manav continued, "I want to tell you the reason. The reason behind the Sudheer that you had being seeing for so long. He is heavily under debt. He opened a firm in New York, in partnership with a person, who turned out to be a fraud and thus, he was laden with debt. To pay that back he has joined several companies and works day and night. This level of pressure has pushed away emotion from his life. I deeply researched about him, Sir! Because somewhere with his body language in the hotel that day, I could feel that he wasn't angry rather frightened with your presence there. Frightened, as if you would know that he hadn't gone for a party there, instead, to convince a client for his company. He was frightened that you will find out how subdued he feels before these clients and company, who treat him more like a servant. He never ever sat down to talk to you because he knew that though you couldn't see his face but with his voice you will know that he is under immense....."

Sanjay Sir began to cry like hell. That very moment Sudheer came in.

"Dad!!!" He exclaimed in shock running towards him and knelt down, holding his hand in a warm caring grip.

"I...I... Am sorry... Extre....me.." Sanjay Sir was feeling breathlessness because of intense crying.

"Dad!! No... what happened?" Sudheer turned his teary face towards Manav and asked with a gesture of eye, "What happened?"

"He knows now. Everything." Manav said with a teary eye.

"Why?? Damn it... Was it that important to tell him noww?" The shocked Sudheer cried in disappointment.

"It was." Sir immediately said and then held Manav's hand, "Thank you so much."

Manav emotionally held Sir's hand with his. Sir continued, "Manav! Do you know the reason behind my tears?" And Sir started crying heavily again.

"Sir!!! What happened?" Manav worriedly held his one hand while Sudheer worriedly rubbed the other palm and then rushed to call the doctor.

Just then, Sir held his chest in pain, as hard as he would pull the heart out. His eyes could reflect the magnitude of pain. Manav, clueless of what to do, ran in and out shouting for help. The doctor arrived with Sudheer and the pill was asked for. The ward boy hurriedly brought the pill while Sanjay Sir called Manav and Sudheer close to him. But before the pill could be given, Sir bid a goodbye. While he lost to death, he had in his hands the hands of his sons held close to the heart.

A day after the funeral, Manav got a call from Mr. Vatvani, a friend of Sanjay Sir.

"He has left a letter with me, written a week ago. He wanted to give all his properties to you. What do I do?"

Manav was stunned. He thought for a while and then asked, "Can you tear that off please?"

"Really? Why would anyone..." Mr. Vatvani was as impressed as shocked.

"Because my foster father once told me that when somebody offers you something look for the reason behind it and take it only if the reason is justified. And here the reason was based on a false ground. And so, I cannot accept it."

"Hmm. I don't really know what you mean but...Ok. Nice talking to you, Young boy!" said Mr. Vatvani and concluded the call.

As Manav kept the phone, he took a sigh of relief. Today he knew the reason of Sir's intense tears at his last moments. Regret.