The last wish

"Hi Maa! Happy Diwali. I am doing good. How are you?" Ravi's voice was extremely relieving for Sunita, even though it came through the phone. Sunita's age had taken toll on her vision and vocal cord paralysis had swallowed her voice completely. She could barely recognize people and things. Last week, Madhu, her sister's daughter, had been mistaken for the maid and reprimanded for absence. Not Sunita's fault though, Madhu had not worn her usual perfume that day. Madhu was actually the bluetooth between Sunita and Ravi as she aided their conversation where Ravi spoke and the Sunita just smiled. Sunita couldn't dial because of blurred vision, but Madhu was regular. This call routine was strictly followed. Not a single day was missed. And with the elixir of Ravi's voice Sunita obtained one more day of life everyday. Ravi worked in another city and had not been able to visit home for seven months in a row.
"No. He is not like those crooked sons who don't give a damn to their parents. He calls me daily. He cares for me." Sunita wanted to reply to the neighbour in a somewhat loud voice with the tone of pride but a smell of anger when he questioned Ravi's absence, but could only use a hard gaze as a reply.
However, sometimes when she was alone she craved badly to hug her son, to feel his face in her palms and then pull the beard with a soft jerk in a gesture as if to scold, "When was that fortunate moment when you last shaved?". She craved to feel the warmth of his fingers and palm on her earlobes when his thumbs wipe her tears. She longed to hear that old sentence, "Besan means besan Maa. Otherwise I am not gonna eat even one laddoo." and then with a long pause adding a surrendering note, "Okay fine. I'll eat whatever you make." Oh she longed for all of it so badly that she could make cartons of laddoos for him without a sign of waist ache. All Ravi had to do was just to hint that he will be coming soon. But there must be serious business behind him not coming. Madhu had told her everything- his busy routine, client interaction, his good reputation in the office. "Madhu had been there for a month and she can't lie me" Sunita thought. But sometimes she thought that she thought these just to befool that little unsatisfied and sceptical mother inside her who every now and then feared that what if Ravi never comes or comes only to sell her property after she dies.
One day, gathering a lot of guts she wrote on a chit, barely legible because of the shivering hand and handed Madhu who had just come, "Are you sure he hasn't changed in the big city?"
"Yes Maasi. I am sure. Why are you asking this?" Madhu consoled.
"I just thought. May be." she wrote and kept on writing while Madhu waited patiently, "He talks so much but never does he say a word to come back. Is it not his heartlessness?"
Madhu didn't reply for fairly long fraction of time. Was it her acceptance or she was still reading? Sunita couldn't figure out and so tapped twice on the table to get a reply.
"No Maasi! Not at all. Only yesterday he was crying over phone while talking to me but asked me not to tell you. He longs for you as much as you long for him." Madhu consoled her though with her own throat becoming heavy from emotions.
Sunita could barely hold her tears and cursed herself for doubting such a son.
Days passed, calls continued. Madhu owing to her new job became busier but made it a point to get the mother-son duo talk everyday. However, now she had to rush back to the office as soon as the call ended. Slowly, Sunita's health started deteriorating but contrary to what Madhu feared Sunita didn't show the wish to meet her son even once. She had no idea whether it was her patience or utter hopelessness. But whatever it was, it made her worry. It actually seemed to be a reason for her degrading health. It seemed as if she had made a choice between son and death and had planned to embrace death. Every subsequent day her smile on Ravi's call was turning weaker and weaker. She did not give anyone that hard gaze anymore, she did not write chits for Madhu anymore. She walked less, smiled less, interacted less and breathed less. And one evening she completely stopped breathing. Death won probably, son lost. When Madhu arrived the next day, she was stuck. She did not know what to do. She saw that while Sunita slept peacefully on the bed, the letter on the table was shouting. Probably the last chit she had written. Seemingly, her last wish. She had written, "I wish like every fortunate mother, I too could be burnt to ashes by a fire kindled by my son."

Madhu was shattered. It wasn't in her hands. If she had to bring Ravi from the city she would have done it herself but how could she ever bring him back from heaven. She felt like a surrendering criminal ready to take any punishment for her crime; crime of hiding the truth. She wanted to shout and call back her Maasi and explain her that she did not do it intentionally, rather it was the last wish of her only son. The son, who being a patient of cancer did not want anyone to reveal this fact before his mother. The son, who recorded his voice ten times a day, each time for a day of the calendar carefully noticing the festivals, Sundays and family events to make it sound like a real call voice. (Not even a single day was missed.) The son, who on his death bed was tossing from one side to the other in pain,  craving for mother's touch but didn't allow Madhu to call her even. The son, who loved his mother more than his honesty towards her.

"Here I stand Ravi. A partner in your crime," Madhu whispered with her heavy guilt-filled throat, "but the judge is impartial. He is not punishing me. Punish me God." and then she shouted, "PUNISH ME. Take me where you took them. I owe Maasi an explanation." and louder, "PUNISH ME. I SAY PUNISH ME." and she broke down into tears. Her loud voice had caught the attention of already curious neighbours who gathered in no time. A women held her to prevent her from self-torture or fainting. The funeral arrangements were made. Madhu in her stammering voice explained why Ravi won't come. And when people were about to take Sunita's body away Madhu held her tightly. Ladies pulled her back, not forcefully, not gently. She held Sunita's closed palm tightly and as she was pulled behind the palm opened. The opened palm revealed a letter. When the forever silent Sunita was finally gone, Madhu opened the puckered letter. It read, "My Last Wish."

Madhu wiped her tears in surprise only to shed more after reading the wish which was, "I forgive you my child. I want the people and God to forgive Madhu and Ravi for whatever they did to me. But I want you to never repeat it in future with anyone else's Mum. It hurts."

Madhu was relieved and shattered at the same time. She did not know that she unintentionally revealed the truth by carelessly leaving the audio player that contained all the Ravi's recordings, on the table which was accidently played by Sunita when she was trying to take the support of the table to stand. She did not know that it was this accident that squeezed Sunita's smile, playfulness and her will to live. Sunita had forgiven Madhu but Madhu couldn't forgive herself ever, for hiding the truth and also for revealing it.